Irony

It was just another day for Brendan Mooney. He had slept in to the far into the afternoon, and was now waking up to find himself in an enormous, plush bed. The colorful sheet and pillows were not what he remembered going to bed on. Drowsily, he slipped out of bed and stumbled through the house. With a hangover thumping in his head, he couldn’t exactly see straight and eventually met with a wall. He smashed back down onto a hard tile floor, creating quite a loud noise.
Head spinning, Brendan opened his eyes to find a blonde young woman staring down at him. She laughed in high, bell-like pitch at his bewilderment and then helped him up. He stared at her strangely. “Grace…why am I in your house?” His voice sounded rough and tired. She blinked her big, green eyes innocently but did not answer his question. Instead, Grace took him by the hand and led him to a staircase that seemed to go down into her basement.
“I missed you.” She said softly with a little smile. Brendan arched his brow, but could not argue with her. Grace had a way about her that made you just feel light and comfortable, regardless if you were suffering from a terrible hangover. But even stranger, he didn’t remember drinking any alcohol the night before. “Besides, I have a surprise for you.” She continued, winking one of her entrancing eyes. He shivered in curiosity as Grace ran her finger down his bare back and to the rim of his boxers. She brought her face close to his and he leaned in for a kiss, expecting her to do the same.
But instead, Grace moved away and took his hand tighter, weaving her fingers through his own. She tip-toed down the stairs and she seemed to be laughing quietly to herself. He wanted to ask her what she found so amusing, and as if she read his mind, Grace suddenly said: “Oh, you’ll see.” She giggled again and then opened the basement door wide to reveal a pitch black room. “Well?” Grace prompted, looking at him expectantly. He shrugged one shoulder while squinting his eyes, trying to see into the darkness. Brendan took a few steps forward in the room and shook his head.
“I don’t see nothin’, babe.” He told her, peering back over his shoulder. “What am I supposed to—AAH!”
Brendan fell to the stone floor, unconscious. At the doorway, Grace dusted her hands off and put them on her hips, smiling mischievously.

Brendan groaned, opening his eyes. He was in a dimly lit room that look suspiciously like a basement, and it smelled faintly of a Lysol. Brendan coughed, sitting up on the cold floor. He couldn’t remember what had recently occurred; only that he had been with Grace. His head throbbed while he strained to remember.
“Brendan…Brendan, oh my God, is that you?!” A terrified, feminine voice called to him. He looked over to find the source, which happened to be his other girlfriend, Kelsie. She was pale with fear. “She put me here days ago. She told me she’d be getting you too! And now I know…” Kelsie was clearly hysterical, and Brendan tried to sympathize.
He said, “Slow down…what’re you talking about? Who put us here?”
“Knock, knock.” Grace murmured, appearing in the room, seemingly from thin air. She was sipping an ice tea and smiling at them both. Her gaze stuck to Brendan and she tossed her arms up, surprisingly not spilling her drink. “Surprise!” Grace took a sip from her bendy straw and then set the drink down on a table. She giggled at his shocked face.
Brendan tried to stand up, but found it impossible. He felt drained of energy and could do nothing but sit and stare at his captor. She found his struggling quite funny, judging by the smirk on her face. “I found out you were cheating on me, babe. I didn’t believe it at first, but now I’m sure of it. You are nothing but a scummy, unworthy, bottom-feeding, spineless…a pig.” Grace steadied herself, taking a deep breath and regaining her bubbly disposition.
Brendan noticed that at the word ‘pig’ his body went into convulsions. A grinding sensation passed through his system as he began to put on a grotesque amount of weight. A look of pure terror and shock consumed his expression as there was now a bulge in his boxers. Finally poking through, a curly tail was revealed.
“Don’t you just love irony?” Grace mused, drinking her tea. Horrified sobs from the corner reminded her of the other prisoner. She turned her attention to Kelsie. “I almost forgot you. But how could I forget? Brendan isn’t all to blame for this mess; you knew I was dating him, but you decided to sex-up anyways! Tsk, tsk. Ah, but who am I to separate what is clearly true love?”
Kelsie’s jaw fell open realizing she was now growing fat as well. She sobbed and pleaded as her perfect, little nose swelled and flattened to resemble a swine’s. Her flat belly became bloated and several sets of nipples began to form. Kelsie watched her fingers and toes formed into cloven hooves. Pig-like ears flopped over on top of her head as the bleach-blonde hair began to recede away into nothing. She gave off dry sobs of grief as she wiggled across the floor, suffering as the transformation progressed.
Grace just sat back and watched as the humans before her became pigs. Brendan was now nearly done with his transformation. His spine cracked and bent to fit his new anatomy and with a squeal of protest, he settled into his new body. Kelsie watched with beady, piggy eyes knowing she held the same fate. Her face and neck thickened, while her slender arms and legs fattened into stubby little forelegs. “I don’t want to be a pig!” Kelsie cried just before her light voice became a horrible mess of squeals and grunts.
Grace looked over at the noisy swine as she dialed a number into her cellphone. “Hey doc,” She greeted as a gravelly male's voice picked up on the other line. “I got ‘em. Yep, you were right. Sorry for doubting you. Love you! Bye!” Grace made a kiss-noise into her phone and promptly then hung up. She stowed the device back in her pocket and then grinned wickedly at the swine.
Special, customized plans were forming in her head…just for them.